Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
