When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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