Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
