Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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