Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
