I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
