Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
im holly from the hills drunk
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
