'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
