If i could tip my vagina, i would.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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