So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
