She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
