I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
