i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
