if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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