it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
