you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
