you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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