Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
