it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
