Can i not drive my cunt home
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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