You work out of a Hotel?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize