New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
