I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
