I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
