im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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