How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
