It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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