He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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