i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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