I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
thus making me awesome and them whores
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
