Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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