ya dads aren't the best wingmen
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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