BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
