Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
