Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
