Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
