Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
