the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
