Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
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