We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
