She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
