you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
