D3 body, D1 cock
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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