people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
