"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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