I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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