I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize