yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
