Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
