I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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