break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
