I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
