I'm jealous of your bromance
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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