hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
