He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just gargled with NyQuil
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
