My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
