Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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